BIBLE STUDY ON ANGER AND UNFORGIVENESS
We are now in Lesson 6 of our Bible Study on overcoming anger and unforgiveness and we will look at ways to deal effectively with anger triggers and how the Bible can help us take actual steps to take to calm down and stop angry thoughts and actions.
HERE ARE 3 WAYS TO DEAL WITH ANGER TRIGGERS AND SCRIPTURES TO KEEP YOU FROM “GOING OFF!”
1. AVOID THE TRIGGERS
PROVERBS 22:24-25 TNIV
24 Do not make friends with the hot-tempered, do not associate with those who are easily angered,
25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
Dr. Mintle tells us: “You can’t always avoid an anger trigger, but sometimes you can. If you know that something or some person upsets you, and you don’t have to put yourself in the situation or be around that person, then don’t. For example, let’s say that playing basketball and losing the game sets you off. Then one way to work on your anger is to take a break from the game. Find a new hobby. Or when a complaining coworker works you into a fit during lunch breaks, go to lunch with someone else.”
QUESTION: What can you learn from this Scripture and from Dr. Mintle’s quote to help avoid anger triggers, now?
2. PRACTICE A NEW WAY TO RESPOND TO ANGER TRIGGERS
JAMES 1:19-20 NLT
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.
Dr. Mintle tells us: “When you know the trigger and can see it coming, practice a new response before the incident happens.”
QUESTION: What new ways of responding to anger triggers did you learn from James 1:19-20 and from Dr. Mintle’s quote?
3. PRAY FOR SELF-CONTROL BEFORE YOU ENCOUNTER THE TRIGGER AGAIN
PROVERBS 25:26-28 NLT
26 If the godly give in to the wicked, it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring.
27 It’s not good to eat too much honey, and it’s not good to seek honors for yourself.
28 A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.
MATTHEW 5:43-44 NLT
43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.
44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.
25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.
26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.
Dr. Mintle gives us this powerful quote to help us here: “Another way to use the Anger Chart is to note what sets you off and then begin to pray about those events, persons or thoughts. Ask God to help you stay calm and, by His Spirit, to give you the self-control He promises as a fruit of the Spirit. Remember that the fruit of the Spirit is “love” (Gal. 5:22). The Word says to love our enemies and pray for them (Matt. 5:44). This is not easy to do unless you have an intimate connection with your Father God. Draw close to Him, and ask for the eyes and ears of Christ. Ask Him specifically to help you see each person and event as an opportunity to be a witness of the supernatural love of Christ. Prayer is a powerful tool to equip you to handle any circumstance.”
QUESTION: What can you teach a young adult or even a seasoned believer (including yourself) from these Scriptures and Dr. Mintle’s quote to help them deal with anger triggers that may have been ruling their life lately?
Since you can now identify anger triggers, try three strategies if possible:
Avoid anger triggers.
Rehearse and practice a new response to those triggers.
Anticipate the situation, and pray for self-control before you encounter the trigger again.
CALM DOWN AND CONTROL YOUR ANGER!
Dr. Mintlle teaches us that: “Anger is a part of life. You can’t control everyone and every circumstance around you, so you must learn to react in ways that aren’t destructive to you or others. No matter what the source of your anger, find ways to control and resolve it.”
The way we deal with anger can be put into three general categories: anger that is…
Calmed, Suppressed or hidden Expressed
Of these five general anger actions, which one do you think is the best and gets an A for effectiveness? Read these actions for anger and choose the strategy you think is the most effective and tell us why. Give a grade of A, B, C, D or F for each one:
A. “RELEASE YOUR ANGER”
By physically-punch, a pillow, throw something, scream loudly in your car.
B. “JUST CALM DOWN”
“Get control of yourself. It will be all right.” So, Jim takes a deep breath and tries to relax. Eventually, the intensity of his anger leaves him. He is no longer highly aroused by an angry feeling.
C. “JUST DON’T GET ANGRY.”
Karla hides her anger. She holds it in, tells herself to stop thinking about it and then tries to think about or do something positive. She works on redirecting her anger so as not to feel it.
D. “JUST LET IT OUT.”
Tim is aggressive. He expresses himself in ways that attack others when he is annoyed or offended. He feels powerful and in control when he gets angry. Others back off and are intimidated by him. Although Tim gets his way, his methods are ruthless.
E. “RESPECTFULLY ASSERTIVE”
Ron works hard to express his anger in a healthy way. He’s not aggressive, but assertive. He avoids blame and emotionally charged words and simply states what behavior made him mad and why.